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03:50pm 16/09/2007
My mom came up with my sister and step brother to visit me here at college and she brought my freggin giant polar bear and it was AWESOME. I guess people were staring at her as she rode the elevator up to my room and it was so awkward because people were staring, lol.

It was great. Just though I'd write that here.
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01:32am 15/09/2007
So I finally watched the Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix secret ending....and oh my jesus...


I'm so excited....is it just me, or does that blue haired chick look like Kairi, the blondie like Sora, and the brunette look like Riku...because that's freggin sweet if those three were like, the reincarnation of these three in the video...its so freggin pretty, and like...ahhhh, I'm so tired yet I'm still up watching KH videos...-is going into crazy KH fan mode again- Why must you be so awesome?
mood: crazycrazy
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03:34pm 12/09/2007
Oh man, I'm really starting to wonder if I'm gonna be able to do this whole animation thing...I mean, I really wonder if I'm good enough. I dunno X( I may just be depressed today. I get so upset over the smallest things. I mean, I think I really improved in only four drawing classes, I just hope I can keep up...

I mean, I love drawing cartoons and I've always been good at it (or even great :D) but I can't do much else...I mean, my deviantart account is like everything I've ever done. I dunno, maybe I'm worrying too much.

Anyways, I'm so tired. And upset that we can't use our financial aid anymore...I really need art supplies but I'm poor. Hopefully my dad will pay me back the money he owes me so I can get a few things I need ToT

And I really need some fanfics...doujinshi...or something...-falls over and dies-

location: My dorms, yeah
mood: distresseddistressed
music: Your body is a wonderland - John Mayer
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Holy shit, an update?  
07:31pm 11/09/2007
Yes, an update. It's amazing, I haven't updated this thing for a year, but I really wanted to start using this thing again (probably will go on and off, depending on my free time and whether I forget about it or not)

So I'm officially in college now, for animation, yay. The only thing is that I really don't know if I'm gonna be good enough for the whole animation thing. I mean, all I really draw are cartoons, realistic stuff is kinda hard for me, so I'm hoping I can keep up with my classes and improve enough to keep going with this (I really, really wanna keep going with this D:)

And I'm rooming with Tara. Its freggin awesome :D And I have this new thing with smilies, I can't stop using them, what the fuck.

I'm gonna go everywhere with this entry due to the lack of updates, lol.

And anyways, so Kyle moved to Iowa. I officially decided that I'm not gonna be with him any more (like, as a girlfriend) because I couldn't tell whether or not he wanted to be. I mean, he told me he loved me and stuff, but he wouldn't ask me out or even really kiss me. I mean, I wanna kiss. The hugging and shit is all good, but I want a real relationship thats going somewhere with a guy who has plans. I mean, he moved to Iowa with his fucking cousins, and is working at walmart! At least I'm aiming for something, whether or not I make it. I just don't think I want to be with someone like that and I hope he understands that I don't want to be with him (because he doesn't get the hint).

So anyways, he decided to email me finally after a month (and not even me, but everyone at the same time) saying he had no free time. But seriously, working at walmart? You can't find 3 minutes of the day to email back his friends (whom all asked him whether he was alive or not). So I'm pissed. I don't really care anymore, if he doesn't want to keep in contact with us, I don't freggin care. I really want a new boyfriend, I'm tired of him.

Enough about Kyle, more about me :D

I'm so happy about college. Its so fun here, everyone talks to you and the professors are sweet and the classes are all pretty fun (and short, ohmahgod) so I'm enjoying it. Though it likes to suck the life outta your wallet, and I'm already poor D: And its hard to find time to eat lunch, what the heck. Anyways...

I'm all into wolfhome again (well, I was back when I was like...10...or 12 or something...it hasn't changed out :D) and I drew some posed for myself. That's pretty fun. Some guy told me I was hot, even though my avatar is a fucking pink wolf. Apparently he's into beastiality, haha.

And I love deviantart, what would I do without you? And Odin Sphere! That game is so awesome! And hard, damnit, it pisses me off! I mean, the enemies like to rape you until you die and not let you get a hit in edgewise. What da fuck.

And...I'm finally downloading Cowboy Bebop, since I've never seen the whole series! I'm so out of date...help me please D:
location: Skoo
mood: tiredtired
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Happy Christmas!  
10:48pm 25/12/2006
For as much as it's worth. It really doesn't feel like Christmas for me, but I guess it is for most other people. Not that I didn't have fun and such, but y'know. I got an MP3 player, finally, and lots of other fun stuff. Of course, I started my period today. It waits for happy events for my, I swear to god. I felt like crap all day but I tried not to be a bitch XD

I also got my SAT scores today. I got a 1770, which I don't have a clue what that means, but I know it can't be that great of a score because I didn't do that well in math, which I usually always do the best in. 6 on my essay, check out my horrible writing skills >:D It's good enough to get in the college I want, so I don't really care to retake it. It took like fucking almost 4 hours, I couldn't read the questions right anymore toward the end of the test. It sucked bad.

Anyhow, my family is so horrible when it comes to holiday. It's both my mom and dad's sides of the family, I don't even know what to say. It seems there is always sparks flying, more figurativly than literally, since you only feel the heat and no actual squabbles occur, per se, but rather little actions that are aimed to make others mad. It's so frustrating. And they wonder why I didn't invite my boyfriend to the friggin thing. Why should he have to see how my family is?

Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I hate how they just can't get along. I mean, the one thing that bothered me most is that my mom's family can't get my step brothers anything, even though my mom has been married to my step dad for nine years. They get my half sister things, and she's only four. What's the difference? And also, my aunt refuses to acknowledge my uncle's girlfriend's kids because, I dunno, they're not married or something? I mean, it doesn't matter if you hate them, they're still family to my uncle, regardless of your feelings. Get over it.

That's just a few of the things. At least I gots new toys to entertain myself. And my dad seems a bit happier, so hopefully he'll move on and not be depressed anymore. I can't wait to go to college for the sole reason of getting away from everyone.

And I should kill my mom for getting my sister a karaoke machine. Most. Annoying. Thing. EVER.
location: My mom's
mood: draineddrained
music: System of a Down
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02:59am 27/11/2006
Yeah, the title is kinda a long story that involves Maple Story, Howl's Moving Castle, and our dinner tonight. I won't bother trying to explain, one had to be there x_x

So, I look this quiz, and it's so totally me @_@

How Good are you at Certain Things?
Favorite Color
Sex - 22%
Romance - 79%
Self - Control - 58%
Kissing - 89%
Cuddling - 8%
Kinkiness - 80%
This cool quiz by KillianO - Taken 5960 Times.
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

But then again, it's probably not because my eyes hurt very bad right now. Yeah, I really shouldn't spend my entire thanksgiving vacation playing video games. Well, not the entire weekend x_x

Anyhow, so, my family is really bad at get togethers. Like, seriously, me and my dad were the first to my grandma's on thanksgiving (which is AMAZING, considering my dad takes a really long time to get ready because I think he's secretly a woman, but we won't talk about that). We were supposed to eat at noon, me and my dad got there at 12:30, and my other two uncles and their families showed up like quarter after one and one thirty. It makes me so angry sometimes.

Also, my step dad has man PMS. One moment he's singing that song off that one snickers commercial (crunchy peanut souls...y'know what one I'm talkng about x_x) and then the next he's having seizures because me and Tara giggled. He pisses me off soooo bad sometimes. I swear to god it's because of his mushtache.

Me and Tara also spend today making sugar cookies (which included the fun of dumping powdered sugar down my shirt) and it was reeaally fun. Our cookies ranged from orange dog bones to purple elephants to rainbow butterflies to blue carrots. Because my mom has really random cookie cutters. Out of the million we made, I got like two, because my queer brothers like to eat everything (and sometimes I think they are really in love, because Addam likes to make this really weird grin after touching Stephen in a place he shouldn't have o_o;)

Also, my cat Sam is preggo and now we're gonna have baby kitties, yay! I hope my dog doesn't eat them T_T We found the could be dad outside today, and I stuck him up in a tree and he got really sad because he couldn't get down and I laughed at him. But then I saved him, so don't murder me, PETA.

I am so tired right now, it's not even funny. My eyes are going in and out of focus. It's kinda cool and painful at the same time. I especially like when my eye twiches. Yes, I need a life, don't remind me.
mood: tiredtired
music: The fans of my computer being loud
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Caffiene free soda is worthless...  
12:17am 05/11/2006
Seriously, the only reason people drink soda at all is for the caffiene. Psssh.

So I'm quite into Death Note now. Why didn't anybody I know find this manga before me? God, it's sweet. Though I did just finish volume 7 and am very upset that L was killed (but I refuse to accept it XD)I guess they made a live action film in Japan that might be released in the US in december, which is sweet, unless they change everything and make it crap. Though it seems quite popular, I don't think the actors look remotely like the characters, so I'm afriad of what they'll do to the plot T_T

And the US remake supposibly in process only scares me worse, lol.

So me and Jess go to see a movie last night at like 10 and this people decide to come in our theater and talk really loudly and obnoxiously in the middle of the movie and make me wanna kill them. I hate people. They have no respect sometimes -_-;

And it's started snowing here! I hate it! It's like, it'll snow for like an hour really hard, then stop, then snow lightly, then this nasty rain/snow crap happens, then it will like HAIL and then it will stop completely, and then repeat all over. What the hell is wrong with our weather, lol. PA SUCKS.
mood: blahblah
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On the happy side of things...  
05:21pm 10/10/2006
I forgot to mention that one of the kids who I mentioned in the previous entry who actually said the words "He should die" got what he deserved today. I guess a couple of kids left in the middle of class to completely empty his locker into the aisle and then preceeded to piss in it.

I was so happy to hear that someone did something I so wanted to do myself! It was a little much, but I think he got the message XDD
mood: thankfulthankful
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People are such DOUCHE bags.  
04:44pm 10/10/2006
I swear I'm going to start slaughtering people if they don't GROW UP.

So, if you read the previous entry, you'll know that a kid in my senior class is in the hospital from a car accident. Now, at first the news was that there wasn't a good chance he'd make it, but now, supposibly, he might just be in a coma and not actually brain dead. He's still on life support, but I guess he can breathe on his own and such.

But seriously, the people in my school are being such jerks about the whole deal. Yeah, the majority are sad, the the teachers understand that, but there are still those jackasses that DON'T EVEN KNOW THE KID who are using the excuse that he's in the hospital to skip class. Which is almost the lowest thing you can do.

What's worse?

This girl who left in the middle of school, claiming she was going to the hospital because she was upset and wanted to see him. Which isn't a bad thing in itself, but the thing is she doesn't even KNOW him because she's a fucking freshmen, and she had to nerve to call someone and spread the rumor that they were going to take him off life support in a few hours just to freggin stir up shit, which I don't understand WHY you would even think of saying that! It's people like these who make it hard to root out the fact from fiction for those who are actually CONCERNED about their friend! The teachers have to have a fucking meeting everyday after school just to sort the crap out and let the students know whats really going on because these retarded bunch feel the need to hurt people for attention. I truely don't understand it.

Whose next on my black list?

Those people who say he doesn't have a chance in hell in living and make it worse for everyone else by being so pessimistic. I mean, I understand the people who cry for their friend but most actually give a shit and pray for him and at least have hope, but those people who say these things about taking him off life support need to seriously commit suicide because no one will miss them. Everyone deserves the chance to live, and maybe you could care less and think it's a waste of money to keep him on life support, but it isn't to those who care about him like his family and friends. This is hard for them, and acting like a cynical bastard doesn't make it any easier for these people. Fucking give a damn for someone besides yourself for once. If not, shut your fucking face then, no one wants to hear it.

And the worst of all?

The BASTARDS who have the balls to say that they don't give a fuck if he lives or not because it's not their problem and worse are those who say he SHOULD die. Guess what, kiddies? Chances are a lot of people are gonna be saying the same thing when you end up on your deathbed. I'm sorry, but that has got to be the lowest thing I've ever heard of. The entire senior class grew up knowing this kid, there has got to be at least a little tiny part of you that cares. And if not? Well, as I said before, you should shut your fucking mouth, because number one, there is absolutely no excuse to act this way, and number two, no one is gonna fucking even come within seven feet of you after this is all over. So if you value your respect, give some in return. I wonder if these people even have friends to begin with since they obviously don't have a heart.

I'm not mentioning any names, but those who know what they've done need to freggin get their act together and pay respect where it is due. There is absolutely no reason to act like a child or a fucking jackass, so grow the hell up you freggin losers. No one wants to hear it. Get a life. Or kill yourself. Because I honestly think that none of the people above are worth more than the dirt on my shoe. And I honestly think that if they feel that way about Jared, then they need to kill themselves.

Okay, I know I don't know Jared that well, but I still feel bad and I am really offended by these people. Now that that's somewhat out of my system, I'm going to go eat chocolate and get fat. Jess and Steph are coming over and we're gonna bake a cake for his family, because a lot of the senior class has planned a dinner for his family. Since they can't leave the hospital, they can at least have a home cooked meal and know that some people care.
location: Home
mood: frustratedfrustrated
music: Over My Head - Sum 41
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Depression TT  
05:56pm 09/10/2006
So, yesterday, a kid out of my senior class got in a car accident and is in the hospital, brain dead on life support. I can't even believe it. Though I hardly know the kid, it's really scary having that happen to a person you see nearly everyday at school and all of a sudden he's just gone. It doesn't really look good for him, and half the senior class was absent to go to a church thing for him. It was such a depressing day, everyone was tearing up in the middle of class and such. All of our teachers gave us a day off because all of our classes were empty anyways and no one could focus. So now I'm all tired and don't wanna do anything because anytime I get upset about even the slightest thing, I find myself physically sick from it. I wanted to just pass out on the floor or puke on someone all day. I'm hoping he comes to, though I can't offer a prayer or anything because I'm athiest, he's at least in my thoughts T_T
location: Home
mood: depresseddepressed
music: Maybe I'll Catch Fire - Alkaline Trio
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